bittersweet

Wednesday was a bittersweet day.

We found out that we will not be able to adopt Hannah.

It was an awful moment to realize that this child, who we thought would be our daughter, was snatched from us in an instant…in an email. I hadn’t prepared myself for such news and I was surprised at how much it hurt. I guess I shouldn’t have been, since we had already named her, sent her things in the mail, imagined life with her…even wondering how in the world I was gonna do her hair! But now she is no longer ours.

The “sweet” part was that during the investigation (to determine her orphan status), her mother was found, and she wanted to take Hannah back. I’m trying like crazy not to judge or criticize her – I have no idea the circumstances that surrounded her abandonment. I have no idea what life in extreme poverty is like. I am just hoping and praying that Hannah will be taken care of and that she will not have to experience abandonment by her mother again. She is probably thrilled to see her mommy, and that does my heart some good. I am glad that our pursuit to adopt her reunited her with her mom.

It was so good to hear sweet Addy praying for her last night, thanking God that Hannah’s mommy was found and that she gets to be with her again.

International adoption is certainly an emotional roller coaster, filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows. Thankfully, we have a gracious and loving God who is in charge, and He knows who are children are and will bring them home to us in His perfect timing. Thankfully we can trust Him to give us the “peace of God, which transcends all understanding, to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

On another “sweet” note, we are 99% positive that Joseph is eligible to be adopted AND another little boy there. His name is Matthew and he is 2. We’re still waiting for more information, and I’ll update here as we learn more.